Resting up for the battle ahead...
Updated: Sep 20
Monday I had a 45-minute brain MRI at Beaches Baptist Hosp (45 min away) – a new experience. We never got the results until today, ARRGH! But the report was good; no lesions or masses found. I’d been really scared. I don’t want other people making decisions for me; nice to know that they cannot.
I’m getting used to the port under my skin stitched into my neck for chemo, though they didn’t use it today to draw labs. My “scheduler” sent me a note to “tell them to draw from the port.” So I did. Apparently, the patient has to pre-arrange that with a call to a lab nurse, as techs can’t handle the port. Question: Wouldn’t it have been more expedient for the scheduler to just have notified the lab when they made the appointment than to have me do it? There wasn’t a nurse in sight and I told the tech to go ahead and tap a vein. It doesn’t make any difference for a simple blood draw and I’m tired of the nonsense.
Last week, I had to remind my medical team that my doc said weekly labs, (they scheduled monthly). I feel like I’m trying not to step on a crack because I could completely disappear. The social worker said she’d call this week; no call. The dietician was to contact me this week; no contact. So I guess I get another guilt-free week to gobble Lorazepam, guzzle 7up and eat blackberry pie?
My head is shaved and last time on Taxotere, I lost all my toenails and fingernails besides my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, etc., so at least I know what’s coming. The effects of Carbo and Keytruda will be new, but hey, bring it.
Maddie, our new dog, is a Godsend and extremely affectionate. This week we walked around the Arboretum lake with Kevin. I also went shopping at the pet store a couple times, so she’s getting me out of the house. I did some weeding while outside with her because after I start chemo, I can't garden or even touch flowers.
My energy is almost non-existent so this is a big deal: I’ve made dinner once (chicken pot pie with a blackberry pie kicker) but otherwise too tired to do much. I sleep a lot during the day in my chair. According to labs, I'm my red blood cells aren't multiplying fast enough, so I'm anemic and not getting enough oxygen, particularly with the mass in my lungs working against me. I need chemo! But I am finishing a beading picture this week between naps, and listening to audio books and reading, and so that’s something. Kev’s doing my laundry and taken over about 90% of the house. I focus on Maddie and just getting through the day.
Spirit: Any given day, it is what it is. I’m still incredibly frustrated that I learned I had metastatic cancer July 31 and it’s taken this long to get chemo established. I get excited that I’m FINALLY going to get some napalm in my body to fight it, but then I reflect the doc called taxitiere the “napalm” of chemo drugs, and I’ll be taking two more chemo drugs at the same time. That combo is the thing monsters under the bed are made of. Fear. So please send positive vibes Monday at 1 Eastern Time when this all begins. (To prepare, I take 5 steriod pills 12 hours in advance and again 5 pills again 6 hours in advance, so this isn’t a light dose.
Love to you all and thanks for standing strong, especially as I’m starting to lean a little. But I’m going into that infusion room hopeful, with my port exposed and ready. Having dinner with friends tonight, playing cards tomorrow, and staying as positive as possible.