My pain had been intense during my stay at the hospital. I had morphine available at any time but refused it. It wasn't just a fear of needing that much help that soon. I had felt, since the episode had started several days before, that I was somehow separate from myself. Not physically, surely, but mentally. Not like I was watching my body, but there was a mental disconnect like a layer of gauze, and I didn't want to make that layer deeper or I feared I'd never get myself truly back. And that was a scary thought, to live in a kind of alternate dimension world.
My husband was getting calls of support, and a close friend mentioned miracles (as most did), and my husband responded, "A miracle would be for my wife to have a pain-free day."
The next morning, I was awake around 7 a.m., and the sun was a ball of light on my shades, so I didn't raise them. Then there was a second ball of light, and as I tried to figure out why, the beam shot into me through the window. Suddenly, all my pain was gone and I felt a lightness around me, cushioning my body with love. Totally, in that moment, no pain anywhere, not even the feeling that I'd had of appendicitis every day since the mass in my belly had been found two months before.
And in that moment, I was fully reconnected with myself and I knew that, contrary to all my past thinking, I did not want to die and I could fight this and extend my life.
I believe in the energy of the universe as being my God, and I believe in Jesus Christ. I don't get on my knees two hours a day to formally pray and I don't attend a church now, being completely disgusted with the politics and Sunday morning Christians who then say hurtful things and judge everyone the rest of the time. However, I have continuing conversations with God throughout the day. I never ask for things for myself; the energy has already bestowed me with blessings on its own, but I do ask for healing for friends, etc.
Still, I asked to see the chaplain to talk about the experience. It was so profound that I cried in the telling of it.
The chaplain was a really good one, and he listened carefully and asked some candid questions about it to assure himself, as well as me, that it was, indeed, the reach of the Lord. By the end of his questioning, he was weeping with joy as well. We prayed together and he said it was something he'd never forget.
These are faith cornerstones, when you know an angel of love and healing
energy is sent to you.